Am I crazy, or is it strange
that Anoka County will pay for me to live in Group Residential Housing
with a gay male roommate but not with a female? If they’re
trying to prevent sexual contact why don’t they prohibit gay
men from rooming together? Is this reverse discrimination?
Sasha is an openly gay
man with disabilities. That’s
cool. In fact, through Sasha, the hand of providence reached out
and slapped me upside the head.
Homosexuality used to
carry more stigma than it does today. I attribute this to people
like Sasha who had the courage to step out of the closet and declare “I’m gay!” regardless of the consequences.
Sasha isn’t the first gay man to come out of the closet, just
the first I’ve had as a roommate.
This isn’t the first mental illness article I’ve published
in Access Press either; there was Prisons: Are They the New State Hospitals?
in October of ’05 and Mentally Ill and Homeless in March of ’06.
This is, however, the article in which I come out and admit I’m
crazy.
I’ve got a dual diagnosis— mentally ill and chemically
dependant. I’ve got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which
is an anxiety disorder, Bi-Polar Disorder (f/k/a Manic Depression),
and a sleep disorder. I’ve also got a tendency to drink myself
comatose, since alcohol is the most effective anti-anxiety/insomnia
medication of which I know.
For prompt temporary relief of anxiety and sleeplessness, try alcohol!
Many patients have reported feeling virtually indestructible and passing
out after just a few dozen drinks. Ask your doctor if alcohol is right
for you! (Sarcasm, of course.)
Admitting insanity allows
me to ask for reasonable accommodation under ADA. For instance:
Now that I’m sober, I can virtually guarantee
that if I land an interview for any job I really want, I’ll go
manic, which will trigger my insomnia. Therefore, I may not present
as well as job candidates who have slept during the preceding week
and aren’t having a panic attack right before your eyes. Admitting
I’m mentally ill may be better than being perceived as a practicing
meth addict.
Being openly insane also liberates me to admit my failure to comprehend
many of the thoughts and deeds of the sane. Before I proceed, I should
insert this disclaimer: The following is the demented rambling of an
addled mind, and should not be taken to represent the opinion of Access
Press, or of anyone else with a shred of lucidity.
Sane logic often eludes
me. I don’t get why billionaire owners
of sports franchises deserve government assistance more than people
with disabilities. A stadium is a place of business for a team owner,
and when those guys threaten to move they often get taxpayer assisted
financing. My friend Tim told me that when he was paralyzed after his
accident, the Social Security Administration at first rejected his
disability claim. Do sane people think those who can move deserve help
more than those who can’t?
National health insurance
has been called “socialized medicine.” Right
now the government insures many poor, old and sick people (me included)
through Medicare, Medicaid, medical assistance, etc. It’s guaranteed
to lose money insuring us. I’m just too nuts to fathom how also
insuring those healthy and wealthy enough to be profitable customers
would cause a tax increase that wouldn’t be offset by the elimination
of health insurance premiums. If I was sane enough to earn seven figures
as CEO of a non-profit HMO I’m sure I’d understand.
Minnesota’s governor added a “health impact user fee,” to
the price of cigarettes. I don’t know anyone sane enough to understand
the difference between that and a tax. I’ve got one friend who
makes too much money working at a fast-food restaurant to qualify for
medical assistance. Since the new “fee” is supposed to
cover smokers’ health costs, she wrote the governor asking where
to sign up for her free smokers’ health insurance. She’s
a little nutty too.
Speaking of taxes, I’ve heard that if you laid all the world’s
economists end to end they’d never reach a conclusion, but one
thing they agree on is that the U.S. economy is 60-70% consumer driven.
Call me crazy, but wouldn’t tax cuts for the most efficient
consumers be the best way to stimulate the economy?
I worked for nearly
30 years and I’ve got nothing to show for
it, so I’m 100% efficient as a consumer! Other than the thousand
dollars I once spent on a Mexican vacation, every penny I ever earned
was spent in America, where it was taxed virtually every time it
changed hands.
I need a job to help
stimulate America’s economy!
It might also help me get a place where I can have female company
(if I can find one who’s willing) and enjoy a cigarette indoors
next winter now that the Minnesota legislature has established a
causal relationship between smoking and frostbite. So remember Crazy
Charlie’s Discount
Journalism, where our prices aren’t all that’s openly
insane! ![]()
