Letters to the Editor…
Dear Editor:
The July article, “Is Expressing Anger Normal for People with
Disabilities?” just plain annoyed me. No, I wasn’t angry.
I was simply annoyed that a question like this was even posed. Have
you ever heard the question, “Is Expressing Anger Normal for
Able-bodied People?” Of course not! Anger is a human, emotional
response—not a characteristic of disability.
Having said that … I recognize, of course, that there are
people with disabilities whose anger is inappropriately generated
and directed. Isn’t that true for able-bodied people as well?
Of course. Any number of endearing or abrasive emotional responses
can overtake most of us from time to time—disabled or able-bodied
alike! We’re human!
As a disabled person,
I have lashed out—and yes—sometimes
when someone has offered to help me. Sometimes, it’s not so
much the offer to help I’m reacting to, but the tone in which
the offer is made. For example, “Oh honey, can I open the door
for you?” bothers me. To me there is something about being
called honey by a perfect stranger that feels very patronizing.
So what’s a disabled person to do? Shut up? Suck it up? Blow
up? Let off steam? In my opinion, none of these approaches offer
an effective solution—especially for the disabled individual
who wants to mingle in mainstream society.
Over the years that
I’ve been a full-time, wheelchair user,
I’ve tried to develop a set of social skills to help me cope
with what often seems like a never-ending onslaught of societies’ ignorance
about how to interact with a disabled individual. For example, I
get extremely annoyed when someone asks me “how have you been
feeling.” It isn’t just a casual, routine, “how
are ya,” but rather a patronizing, in my face, “oh, you
poor thing” kind of question.
Over the years, I’ve given many less-endearing responses to
that question, but recently I decided to respond by gently repeating
the identical question back to the individual who asked. Often surprised
by my question, people generally seem puzzled that I’m asking
them such a question—of course—they are not the disabled
one!
Unfortunately, I think
many assumptions are still made about people with disabilities.
Though disabled people have come a long way over the past 50 years—people with visible disabilities still don’t
blend into the landscape of able-bodied life very well. Often, we
stand out like a sore thumb. For some disabled people that’s
no big deal, but for others it is a never-ending challenge to be
so visible. Yes, some of us get angry, some of us put up with it,
and others withdraw. We are not all made of one mold—we are
each human—unique and individually made. And—I think
that is a lesson that society still needs to understand about people
with disabilities.
Alice Oden, OTR/L, MA
Shoreview
Dear Editor,
I truly enjoyed Mai Thor’s story on Voter Rights that was in
the July 10, 2005 issue. My DT&H, Merrick, Inc., got me involved
with the Voter Rights bill during this year’s legislative session.
I worked with Mai very closely on this bill. There were plenty of
ups and downs, but I was very glad when Governor Pawlenty signed
it into law on June 3rd. The provisions that Mai talks about in her
story are from Senate File 1551. It was this bill that got included
into House File 1481. I was speaking up for my fellow client friends
at Merrick that are under state guardianship and did not know where
they stand on their right to vote. I wrote a letter to send to legislators
to show support for the Voter Rights bill. I even showed up to a
House Civil Law and Elections Committee hearing to show support for
the bill. I know that all my hard work paid off. Thanks again for
a wonderful story.
Roberta Blomster
Self-Advocate Member, the MN Governor’s Council on Developmental
Disabilities
