The little bit of knowledge
I have about autism came from a gentleman I met a year ago who
I will call Tom. I met Tom at a social group, called Socrates Café,
that meets on Thursday every week. The members of the social group
are intellectual, much like Tom and me.
There are times when
Tom is so on-the-ball that you would not know he has autism. He
lives by himself in an apartment, drives a car, and has a job at
Opportunity Partners that he likes. Tom’s
job does not pay enough to support all his needs, but it does provide
some income. For him, the pay is an incentive to achieve and it demonstrates
to people that he is capable of doing the job. Tom wants to believe
he can have a full, independent, and happy life. Yet parts of his
life sometime interfere with his developmental capabilities even
though he has an intellectual side.
Many individuals with autism have different levels of understanding
and capability. Opportunity Partners encourages each of its employees
to be independent. The way they do this is by looking at the individual
and matching his/her capabilities with the job. By doing this, they
instill pride in each worker and help create greater independence.
Tom’s employer
has supported his need for independence by working with the capabilities
he has as an autistic adult. His parents, in my opinion, have done
the opposite. They do not encourage him to strive and exceed to
the best of his abilities. Unfortunately, parents of disabled children
sometimes cannot see the capabilities of their children because
the disability gets in the way of their view. When that happens,
the tendency can be to emotionally handicap the child. A common
result of this type of parental intervention may be inappropriate
comments or behavior expressed by the child.
When Tom is treated
this way by his parents and realizes that he has said or done something
inappropriate, he feels bad about himself. His reaction doesn’t help his self-esteem. And it certainly doesn’t
nourish his belief for a full, independent and happy life.
I believe autism and independence can co-exist rather than be an oxymoron.
It depends on how you are raised and the kind of support and encouragement
you get in life. The autistic child or adult who has that kind of reinforcement
is very lucky indeed!
